Libertinism : The Care Bears World ?


Les Chandelles

Contrary to what Aymeric might think from his first experience, the world of libertinism is not always like the Care Bears world. First, to speak about the ‘Chandelles’, one can also find call girls in there. Since the specificity of this very selective club is that you can only go in couples, many men find themselves escorts to be accepted at the door. And that is the reason why the ‘puritans’ of libertinism do not actually go to the ‘Chandelles’: to them, any payment to somebody in order to receive a form of pleasure from this person is a form of prostitution. And prostitution is forbidden is their world. Along these lines, they do not frequent erotic massage salons (where naked men get massages from naked ladies).

Apart from these facts, it is worth noting that bad experiences can also occur. For one thing, if one plans the perfect evening before going out (‘Tonight we pick a man and…’) one might actually do something very different and end up disappointed. Monia and Denis made this mistake a few years ago. “While going home we could even be arguing and almost yelling at each other because the night did not happen the way we planned. We decided that it was useless to plan anything and stopped. You can never know what your night is going to be like”, says Monia.

But more than bad, disturbing things can also happen. Extraordinary situations and weird occurrences (even for Libertines). Like a couple who once went to a back room, where one cannot see the other people you are with, ‘played’ with another couple, only to find they were their daughter and stepson. This is why Monia has this golden rule: “never go to the back rooms”.

It is also very important to know that an experiment in libertinism is not the same as therapy. People experiencing a break up who think they can fix their couple by offering themselves to others will unerringly have a bad experience and eventually break up anyway, and not in the best way. Denis and Monia insist very vigorously about this point: “Do not become a libertine if your couple is not strong enough, or you will split”. That is also why they think it is a shame that many young people try to obtain experience in this domain. According to Denis, “Sex used to be yesterday’s taboo. Today, feelings are a taboo. Young people have sex with no problem but don’t experience feelings. They know everything before the age of 20. That is a shame, because they don’t know how to build a relationship and which sexuality they like. They just do everything to be trendy and because everyone is doing it. At the end of the day, they might end up weakened in their personalities, lives and sexualities.”

A society with no prohibition has often been dreamed about, but never achieved. Everytime a taboo is pushed away, another one takes its place. Yesterday: sex; today: feelings. The young generation is taking over from the previous one, removing every inch of feeling from the sexual act. In the end, would the debauchery with no feelings be the new libertinism?

Chloé Chateau

To go further:

The Secret World of Parisian Libertinism

The pros: Monia and Denis Grattepain, libertines from head to toe

Lili : a secret libertine life

Aymeric : the one shot experience

Where to dress for a libertine night out

The Beverley: the last porn cinema of Paris