Lili : A Secret Libertine Life


Copyright – Denice 2008

Lili is at the Dreamstudio launch party for Denis Grattepain’s book. She is wearing a red dress and a dog collar necklace. She is extremely pretty but appears quite shy. Lili, who is 35, is married and has two kids. She says she has always felt she was a libertine, but never really found a way to express herself in that way.

When she was 25, when she was already with the man to become her husband, she left him for a while to live her first experience, after he said he had no interest in it. Then, with her curiosity satisfied, she went back to him, thinking that in time, he would accept to could share this experience with her. She waited for a few years, before actually understanding that he would never get ready, because it was simply not his thing.

That is why she decided, two years ago, to start living her libertine life secretly, hiding it from her family and especially her husband. “I don’t like to lie to him. But what can I do? It is a full part of my personality and I have always been clear to him that I do not belong to him, and he does not belong to me. If he doesn’t want to share this with me, then doing it on my own is my only option. I’ve always struggled for everything I wanted in my life: once I struggled to marry the man I loved, and now I’m struggling to live my life to the full. It makes me sad he doesn’t want to be part of this side of my life, but what can I do? I can’t resist it. It is me, as much as I am a wife or a mother”, she explains.

So in order to get away at night without any questions being asked, she has to lie and say she is going out with her sisters. “In my misfortune lies my passport for freedom. Since my marriage, my family and my husband have never spoken to each other. So I know he’ll never call my sisters to check on me. I take clothes with me, get changed in the car, and come and find Denis in either hotels or clubs”. Only Denis? Actually, yes. Lili is one of Denis’ ‘girlfriends’, with whom he has extramarital affairs. They see each other once a month (it used to be twice a month but they cannot find the time anymore), and this affair has been going on for a year.

Lili says she is not fully happy. She admits the perfect way to be happy would be to live this with her husband. But she says he finds this lifestyle disgusting, unnatural and perverse. And since there is no way of dragging him into libertinism, the way Lili is living right now is the happiest she says she could possibly be.

Chloé Chateau

To go further:

The Secret World of Parisian Libertinism

The pros: Monia and Denis Grattepain, libertines from head to toe

Aymeric : the one shot experience

Libertinism : the Care Bears world ?

Where to dress for a libertine night out

The Beverley: the last porn cinema of Paris